nostalgia, losing touch, and trust

i've taken a turn at waxing a bit nostalgic.  yesterday, a high school friend initiated contact... i ran across some names from early college days... i listened to a conference tape that reminded me of where I've been and where I'm going...

 

so, i sent out an email yesterday, shortly before leaving work, to an old friend.  she wasn't there.  apparently, her email address has changed, and so, she didn't get the email -- no change notice, not email forwarding... just a bounce back from the email server.

 

she was pretty big influence in my life -- what she was to me (nothing romantic) has shaped who i am today and i can honestly say that i am grateful for her example and witness.  there are many people to whom i can accredit significant influence.  where are they now?  i hear rumors of them here and there, but i never get beyond thinking (THINKING), "i should call this person," or "i ought to email so-and-so."  it's always easier to say, "i'll touch base later."  well, by the time might actually get around to doing something about potentially losing touch, you've already lost touch.

 

it stinks to lose touch.  there are memories, experiences, lessons, wisdom.  relationship. history. honesty and accountability.  truth.  trust.

 

i guess i'm thinking about such things partly because i had IM'd with a pal the other day, and we got to philosophizing and psychoanalyzing what trust is and why it's often so difficult for us to trust others.

 

i kind of came to the general conclusion that the more self-absorbed a person is, the less trustworthy that person is likely to be.  conversely, the less selfish or self-absorbed a person is, the more likely that person will offer a helping hand and worthwhile company.  of course, there are judgment calls to be made in all types of relationship and you cannot gauge trustworthiness solely on selfishness alone.  i suppose this is better left for another conversation as i attempt to return from my tangent.

 

i miss my friends.  my good friends whom i had shared meaningful, life shaping experiences with.  there are a smattering from high school and more than a handful from college. 

 

i wonder who would show up if i were in the spotlight for the show "this is your life?"